Friday, February 7, 2014

God Be With You {Til We Meet Again}

Well.... He's gone. My family and I dropped Elder Braden Ellingson off at the MTC at 12:45pm on Wednesday, February 5. It was such an emotional day for me, and honestly one of the hardest days of my life. I guess on a positive note I finally figured out what "bittersweet" REALLY means, and I had the chance to visit the beautiful Provo temple for the first time. 


From the moment Braden received his mission call last October I knew it would be hard letting him go. He and I have been close ever since he was born on my third birthday. Growing up together created so many special memories that I hold dear to my heart now that he is away. He was always my confidante, my birthday buddy, my playmate. As the years have gone by he is still my favorite birthday present in the whole world, and he has always been there for me when I needed him.

 I remember calling him, in tears, a few months ago asking him for advice. It had been a rough day and when I knelt down to pray I had a feeling I should call my brother. Braden was able to calm me down and council me using the Spirit. He has always been my unofficial "older brother" because he has always had my back and has always protected me. 
Over the past year we have grown even closer, and I consider him one of my best friends. I don't know what I would do without him! 

I am going to miss him terribly. I have been crying since Tuesday evening when he was set apart as an Elder for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I cried even more when he walked away from our car on Wednesday and entered the MTC. I am going to miss his silly snapchats and his posts on Instagram. I'm going to miss hearing the guitar music coming from his room as he tries to teach himself how to play. I'm going to miss playing weird games of Apples to Apples and laughing nonstop. I'm going to miss sharing our birthday celebration. Nobody tells you that driving away from the MTC feels like you're leaving a funeral! However, I know without a doubt that he is where the Lord needs him. I couldn't be more proud of him and the decision he made to serve Heavenly Father for two years. He has grown so much while preparing for his mission and I know that will only continue. 

But now.... What? I just need to find a way to keep myself busy. He did tell me to have a baby while he's gone.... Maybe I'll get on that in a few months? (; But for now, what the heck do I do to stop the tears from flowing? My poor husband is probably fed up with my moodiness and I don't blame him! My heart is in Provo. I feel like when we dropped him off we left part of me there. 


I know the Lord will watch over him and protect him. I know he will be blessed immensely for dedicating two years of his life to serving. I know that our family will be blessed as well. All this knowledge doesn't make missing him any easier though! I'm at a loss of what to do.

 I suppose I can start by following his example and dedicate the next two years of my life to the Lord as well. I can send care packages and letters. I can take care of my family. I can serve the people around me and try harder at my church callings. I can re-read the Book of Mormom. I can love and forgive more. I can enjoy life and do my best everyday. 

 I can become more like Braden.