I Need Thee Every Hour

This past week I have learned a very special lesson....I truly need my Father in Heaven every hour. The hymn has been stuck in my head for a few days now and quite honestly those comforting words have been the only thing giving me enough courge to get through the day. Nic and I have been going through a trial for quite some time now and this week I have felt like giving up. I hate admitting this, but I felt cheated. Nic served a full time mission, we married in the temple, we fulfill our calling, attend church weekly, pay tithing every paycheck, go to the temple as often as possible, pray every morning and night, read scriptures...pretty much everything the Lord has commanded His children to do. We are faithful servants and love Him with all of our hearts. So why haven't we been blessed with what we have been asking for since we're clearly doing everything right? That has been the question on my mind and heart for quite some time now. I had finally reached the point where I could no longer muster up the strength to keep my thoughts to myself. I poured my heart out to the Lord and begged Him to have mercy on my husband and I. To please bless us with a new job for Nic. I told Him I have done everything in my power to do what's right and feel like I have received nothing in return. I can't believe how selfish I was. As I was taking a drive to cool down and change my attitude before Nic got home from work the words of "I Need Thee Every Hour" ran trough my head once more: 

"I need Thee evr'y hour, 

Most gracious Lord. 

No tender voice like thine 

Can peace afford. 

I need thee, 

(Chorus)

Oh I need thee!  

Evr'y hour I need thee. 

Oh, bless me now my Savior 

I come to thee. 

I need thee evr'y hour 

Stand thou nearby. 

Temptations lose their power 

When thou art nigh. 

I need thee ev'ry hour, 

In joy or pain.

Come quickly and abide,

Or life is vain.

I need thee ev'ry hour,

Most holy One.

Oh, make me thine indeed,

Thou blessed Son!" 

I pulled over to the side of the road and all I could say to my Lord was, "I'm sorry," over and over. Again, I can't believe how selfish I was. Earlier I said I learned a special lesson...this is what I learned: 

As children of God we do what's right because it's the right thing to do. We shouldn't do the right thing because we expect blessings in return. Of course the Lord will bless us- we're His children and He loves us! However, the blessings may not always come in the way we want or expect them to. He is a wise parent and knows what we need, when we need it. He blesses us when we need it most. If we are doing what's right then the blessings come more often than not. If we aren't doing what's right the blessings slow down. It may not be the same for everyone, and I'm not trying to write doctrine or anything, but that's how it works for me. It has taken me 21 years of living and 10 months of marriage to learn this lesson. I need to do what He has asked me to do because I love Him, NOT because I want something in return. Not a day goes by where I don't need my Father in Heaven and my Savior. Like the hymn says, I need them every hour. I'm not perfect, and I never will be. As a human being I'll always have doubts and fears, and at times I will question my Father. I know there will be a mountain even more difficult to climb than the one Nic and I have been facing for a while now, and when we reach that mountain I will need to cling to the Lord with all my might. I need to trust Him. On that note, I need to trust my husband as well. Don't get me wrong- I DO trust him. Sometimes though I like to make decisions on my own because I think I know what's best for me and I can receive answers from God on my own, thanks very much. This is also very selfish of me. The Lord has blessed me with an absolutely incredible eternal companion! A companion who promised to stay loyal to me, promised to keep me safe throughout the rest of my life, promised to comfort me when times are tough, and promised to share the weight of the world with me. I no longer need to feel like I have to fend for myself. I no longer need to carry burdens on my own. I've gotta tell you...my husband is the most wonderful blessing I will ever receive. I'm not going to lie, things are really tough for us right now. We have been struggling with this job hunt and with Nic's schooling for so long.... The stress of it all is weighing us down. We can't do it alone, heaven's no! But with the help and love from our Heavenly Father we will reach the top of the mountain. I am so grateful for my husband and his determination to climb this mountain with everything he's got. He never ceases to amaze me! I have never met someone with so much courage and motivation. On top of that, he has the biggest heart in the universe and always shows kindness toward others. I can only dream of being as amazing as him. We may not be getting the "break" we need right now... but we do have each other. I know  the Lord is watching over us and is mindful of the things we desire and the things we need. I am incredibly blessed.