Happiness is Like...

Disneyland. Happiness is like Disneyland.

Here's why: You just made it to Disneyland and you've been so excited to go on your favorite ride. Let's say that's Big Thunder Mountain, like mine. You rush over to the ride, hoping to beat the other tourists to the line. When you get there, the Wait Time sign says 50 minutes. The park has only been open for ten.

There are two ways you can handle this situation. You can either become really angry, start complaining, maybe mutter a few cuss words, and leave the line. The rest of your day probably won't be so magical now.

OR

You can shrug it off, tell yourself you got there as fast as you could and you have no control over the situation, and patiently wait in line. While you're at it, you can smile and realize that you are at the Happiest Place on Earth, and pump yourself up for your favorite ride! Don't let one line ruin your experience.

This is a lot like happiness in our daily lives. WE are in control of our happiness. Not our friends or family, not crappy situations, and not even our hormones (ladies).

Spencer W. Kimball said, "Life is ten percent what happens to you and ninety percent how you react."

We can either choose to sulk when something unfair happens to us, or we can look at our blessings and find a reason to smile and be happy.

I am sure it's easier said than done. I am generally a very happy person. My motto in life is, "If the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, water your grass more." I'm an optimist. I feel like we are all in control of our happiness. However, there are days when I am super cranky. There are days I don't feel like being happy. Sometimes there is a trial that pushes me to the end of my rope and I am tempted to let go.

I am sure many of us have those days. But instead of letting go, isn't tying a knot at the bottom of the rope easier? Sometimes it may not be. Sometimes it may seem harder to hold on for dear life instead of letting go and escaping the situation. I can promise you one thing, though. If you tie a knot and hold on for a little while longer, happiness comes a whole lot easier. You will make it through the trial and be able to take a deep breath and move on to happier things. If you let go for now, you'll carry the burden along with you in your heart, and it'll never truly be "over" until you go back to it and face it.

At least, that's my opinion.

Another favorite quote of mine is, "Why remember and be sad, when you can forget and be happy?" -Unknown

I'm not saying you should forget everything bad that happens to you in your lifetime and only remember the happy moments. Remembering bad/sad moments can be a good thing if you learn from them, and lock the lessons away in your brain. Keep it in your brain, tucked away in a box, until you need to pull out the information when you face a similar situation. But please, DON'T DWELL ON IT!

Recently I wrote about losing a dear friend. The quote above is a good piece of wisdom to apply to my current situation. I can either sit at home and dwell on all my hurt feelings, anger, confusion, and how unfair the whole thing was.

OR

I can forgive and FORGET, and be happy.

I choose the latter. I choose to be like princess Elsa, and "turn away and slam the door." Why dwell on the hurt and sadness if it hurts me more? Surely, dwelling on the situation doesn't make anything better! So, I'm letting go. I'm choosing happiness over sadness. I'm choosing to count my blessings (which includes many dear friends who have stood by me during this difficult time). I'm choosing to enjoy my time in Disneyland and not let the long line bring me down. Metaphorically, of course.

I had a friend a few years back who focused so much of their attention on dating, and why no one was asking them out on dates. They turned bitter about it, and soon became pretty unpleasant to be around. I finally told them, "Seriously, just move on. The more you dwell on it the more bitter you become. Who would want to be around that? Show everyone how fun and happy you are, and I'm sure you'll go out again."

This friend chose the other route. They let others determine their happiness.  Sadly, they lost many of their friends, even some family members, and became a very dark, unhappy, bitter person.

Before I met Nic, I didn't go on many dates either. In fact, I think I only went out with two other guys in my single's ward, on a date or two with each, and that was it. In high school I didn't date much, as well. At first I started to get really self conscious and thought there must be something wrong with me. I thought maybe boys didn't think I was pretty, or I was too fat, or that I wasn't fun to be around. I started to turn into a not-so-fun person to be around, and then one day I had a wake up call. My mom said, "Mace, there isn't anything wrong with you. Boys are lame. If you want to date, ask someone out yourself."

She was right! I changed my way of thinking and chose to take control of the situation. I asked out a few guys, and after gaining self confidence I was able to get up the courage to talk to Nic and let him know I liked him.

That's another story (;

Moral is, I chose to be happy instead of letting my situation get to me.

There are a lot of things going on in my life that could make me unhappy. My husband being in school full time, and working full time, means he doesn't have much time for the two of us. I can either be unhappy about that (and to be honest, sometimes I am).

OR

I can be happy that my husband is working so hard to provide for us, and working so hard in school to provide for us in the future. Thanks to him, I won't have to work once we become parents. Oh, AND I can be happy that he has chosen a very successful career choice, so we will hopefully never have to worry about finances in the future. What's not to be happy about?

So, my friends, take control of your happiness. Rid your life of toxic relationships, forget feelings of anger or hurt, forgive those you don't think deserve it, and don't live in regret. Don't get into the habit of dwelling on things you can't control. You deserve to be happy. Let your happiness be determined by YOU.